No, I take that back. I do have some very polite students.

But the boys…PEE ON THE TOILET SEAT!!! Gaaahhhh!

And we talk about it the first week of school. I ask them to imagine their mother going in and sitting down where they’ve urinated. Or if they need to sit, and sit in someone else’s urine. (Frankly, the kids just don’t know how to think of others. It’s a curse of today’s society.) This year’s boys are having a hard time remembering to put up that seat!

I do have them use the terms ‘urine’ and ‘flatulence’, etc. Kids don’t giggle as much with medical terms versus ‘common’ terms. Most of the time kids haven’t heard those words before, but in Mrs. Who’s class we try to rise above the lowest common denominator.

Earlier this week, a girl came out of the bathroom, all upset about the yarn on the toilet seat. I was puzzled, wondering if the yarn had come from the necklaces the kids get the first week to match their bus assignments. I was in the middle of working with a group of kids and couldn’t get over to the upset girl immediately. And she just kept getting louder and louder about the yarn on the seat.

Then it hit me…she was saying ‘urine’. It was all I could do not to laugh as I went over to help take care of the ‘yarn’. Bless her heart…she probably hadn’t heard the word ‘urine’ until my class, and was doing her best to remember how to pronounce it!

Teaching isn’t just a job anymore, it’s an adventure. An adventure that a pith helmet and machete can’t help.

*sigh*

An idiot whose daughter drives the aforementioned Mercedes which my newly-licensed daughter hit in that high school parking lot.

*sigh*

My new health insurance rates have just come out. From $357 a month to $568…while my employer’s contributions are dropping about $50.

And do you know whom I feel sorry for in this particular aspect of this mess??? All those dads who are court-ordered to provide insurance for their kids who are in the ex-wife’s primary custody…how will that affect their take-home pay…pay that needs to go to child support?

This whole Obamacare is going to be such a disaster for our country. How can people be so blind to this economic bomb?

Is there any hope at all that it could be repealed???

Student 1: (making a face) What’s that smell?

Student 2: That’s the cafeteria.

Student 1: Oh.

Are you sure?

Damn…I was afraid of that.

You see…Friday was awful. Just awful. We had this terrible storm hit mid-morning (and it’s been raining ever since…which means no recess for a few days because the playground will be a sodden mess). But this storm was loud and full of lightning. Which struck the fire alarm system. Which has this loud, piercing, deafening repeated shrill.

And I was proud of my students…they immediately jumped up as we had practiced for fire drills. But since the storm was so terrible, and knowing that the lightning had most likely set off the alarm, I had the kids wait. While the fire alarm is flashing and emitting its deafening warning. The kids have their hands clapped over their ears…because the damn alarm hurts!

But sure enough, an announcement comes over the intercom to stay in the rooms. And then an announcement comes to leave the room…for the cafeteria. They have turned off the alarm, but an automatic notification goes to the local fire department and they have to check it out. And the buildings that have an alarm notification HAVE to be evacuated during the firemen’s inspection.

Which means we walk out under metal awnings to the cafeteria. During the electrical storm. Yeah.

So we sit in the cafeteria for about 30 minutes before we’re allowed back in our building. And since it’s getting close to lunchtime, the kids have a hard time paying attention. However, we plow ahead with our reading lesson, then wash up for lunch.

Recess after lunch is naturally an indoor affair, because of the still-horrible weather. I let the students work at various centers. Three little girls choose to work with magnetic letters, which are to be used to practice spelling words.

Until one of the three girls comes to tell me that the other two are spelling ‘bad’ words. In the course of the investigation, it turns out that the first girl who tattled was the one who started spelling the bad words.

By this time, I’m wanting to say my own bad words. Ho. Ly. Crap.

The second week will be better, right? Right?

*sigh*

Good news: The screamer has stopped screaming. And is proving to be a remarkable student! The counselor said that the kid’s mom is really happy with how I’ve handled the kid. I’ve told the counselor that it’s because the crazy kids spend time with me and realize that I’m crazier than they are, and get really, really scared by that fact. Being crazier than the crazies makes for a good behavior plan.

Bad news: The Fire Marshal wants us to spray anything paper on our walls with fire retardant, and then only 20% of the wall can be covered by said paper-type products (posters, word walls, rules, kids’ work, school standards…everything the district tells us MUST be on the walls or it will be counted off during our observations!). I’m not worried, however. Because I have no real ceiling above my room…we can see straight up to the slanted metal sheeting of the roof…and it’s a very, very, high ceiling. So therefore, my walls go up about two or three times as much as an ordinary room…meaning the posters et al on the walls are within the bastard’s 20% ratio, mwuh-haaa-haaa-haaaaaa! (I need Blog-Mama Bou to use her Math-Wonder-Brain to tell me an actual formula to shove under the fire-marshal’s nose when he comes to ‘inspect’.) Oh, did you know they’ll actually do a flame test if they ‘feel the need’? Yeah, fine example to the kids…burn up the work they proudly have displayed on the wall!

Not that I’m against the kids’ safety of course. Just everyone trying to tell us teachers what to do, be it the Fire Marshal, the principal, the district, the math coach, the reading coach, NCLB, the general public, the parents, the government, etc., etc., etc.,…and the goals don’t often mesh and it’s ALWAYS the teachers’ fault when it doesn’t. But when it comes to fires, we teachers can handle it. I had a teacher friend who attended a conference down in the Orlando area when there was an actual fire. The teachers all trooped out in an orderly and quiet manner, even carrying out a wheel-chair bound man who was staying at the hotel. The firemen were pretty dumb-founded at the orderly manner in which they evacuated, and laughed when they found out it was a bunch of teachers!

But it has been a draining week. I have at least three kids who no longer can live with their parents, one ‘drug-baby’, one former home-schooled child who doesn’t have any grasp of phonics, one kid who couldn’t keep still if you duct-taped the child with three rolls, and some girls who think school is for others to be quiet while they visit.

*sigh* But *I* control the important things: recess and ‘Fun Friday’. I. HAVE. THE. POWER!!!!! (bonus points if you’re old enough to remember the origin of that phrase!) Mean ol’ Mrs. Who had the class practice walking in a straight, quiet line in the hallways instead of being out at recess. And Fun Friday is down to 20 minutes out of the original 45…with heads will be down on the desks for the 25 minutes they’ve ‘lost’.

By next week, I’ll have one of the best-behaved classes in the school. It gets to where all I have to do is raise an eyebrow, and the students get an ‘oh, shit’ look on their face and settle down. I’m a real bitch at the beginning of the year…but then I don’t fight the behavior as much the rest of year. You can’t teach if you’re fighting behaviors. So it’s the time for bud nippin’. Yep.

Just when is the next school holiday?

Anyway…

This weekend I’ve had to make curtains for the window in the back door of my classroom. Back in February, the painters destroyed the blinds that I used to have on it. I requested new blinds then, and then again at the beginning of this year. No blinds…so I made curtains (thanks to BR who bought the material for me!!). But we have to have something over the window so prospective thieves can’t see in, and for lockdowns.

I didn’t get absolutely everything done that I wanted. I tried to be done by Friday, but since Buck had YM on Saturday, I figured I could hit the school while I had to be out anyway and tie up any loose ends.

BR went with me to help with some of the more tedious aspects of labelling supplies. We were almost done when the damn fire alarm went off. We were told over the intercom that officials were just working on the system. I had a bag of foam ear plugs that I shared with BR and a couple of other teachers there, but then 15 minutes later we were told to EVACUATE!!!! The firemen were on their way!!! And they had to get into the upper level of MY building!!

So…we left. The work wasn’t done. It won’t affect what I need to do with the kids tomorrow, but it’s bugging me that it’s unfinished.

Oh, well…better the alarm screw up on Saturday, than on the first day of school. But we teachers have learned to be flexible…it’s the only way to get through the year. And there’s always stories to tell in the process of the funny and weird things students do.

Any interesting first day of school stories out there???

I was reading a book that was okay overall…but the mention of those two items above seemed anachronistic.

Just wondering…

Somehow the cable service was messed up, and most channels were snowy and full of static. So I brought some DVDs from home to fill the noise void.

Earlier today a mom registered her child who was put into my class. The mom asked to speak with me about several concerns with her child. (She was there almost an HOUR!!!!) The mom started walking out, when she stopped to stare (I thought) at the spelling words on a chart. I started to explain the process of choosing the words, when all of a sudden she turned and said in an excited voice, “So you like Firefly!!!????” I realized then she wasn’t staring at the chart, but rather at the tv on the file cabinet next to the chart…the tv wasn’t on, but the Firefly DVDs were tucked behind the tv. I laughed and affirmed my affinity for the show, and she went on, saying that their cat is even named ‘River’ for Summer Glau’s character. So maybe the Mom will feel a connection and a little bit more relaxed about her kid starting school. Shiny!

But it effin’ pisses me off when people think teaching is a ‘cushy’ job. Work 8 to 3:30, several holidays and summer vacations. Nothing to it, right? God, how I wish!!!

If you think that, then I DARE you to spend a week with a teacher. I won’t get into the minutiae yet. I’ll be doing that as the school year progresses.

Today was officially the ‘first’ day back at school for teachers. But in the previous two weeks, I’ve put close to 40 hours into preparation for the school year. 40 UNPAID hours. One ‘regular joe’ work week WITHOUT pay. Would you do that for your job? No over time, no comp time, just time GIVEN to my job. This week I’ll probably work 10-15 ‘extra’ hours on top of the contracted hours. Before the students even come back. When they do come back next week, I won’t be leaving at ‘quittin’ time’. There’s always so much to do. Tonight, for instance, I spent two hours online completing mandatory training for safety, security, and sexual harassment awareness requirements.

Yeah, I could work the contracted hours and no one could say anything.

But it’s not enough for me. Because my job is just not about me…it’s about children. About helping them to become more, become better, to grow up. It’s an awesome, fearsome, and happy responsibility.

And for anyone who thinks that kind of responsibility requires no thought or preparation is a sorry-ass loser. Yeah, I called you a name. Puerile of me, wasn’t it? But that’s the only credit an ignorant detractor deserves. Sure, there are lousy teachers out there…sucking at the union’s tit and whining about their Viagra. But most teachers aren’t like that…there are jerks in every job type. You always remember the jerks, right, not the quiet workers who day after day effectively do what they’re supposed to do. And don’t go by teachers you had in school…you were looking at them through a kid’s eyes. Go back, volunteer for a week, and see it from a teacher’s perspective. A grown-up perspective. If I’m willing to give so much ‘extra’ time, surely you can too since teaching is such a ‘cush’ job, right?

And as it’s the beginning of the school year, I do want to thank you parents out there who send your kids ready to learn. You read to them, talked with them (instead of on your cell phone), set routines, and taught them how to behave in public. Parents are the first and MOST IMPORTANT teachers a child can ever have. You set the standard for their future learning. Thank you for giving them expectations that will make wonderful students and even better adults.

Now, I’m off to have my chocolate wine and then to bed, since I have to get up before the crack of dawn. Good-night.

He even swims! In the water! EXCEPT…he goes swimming in a bay that was NOT affected by the oil spill. And the part of the Gulf just outside Alligator Point is OUTSIDE the fishing ban that still exists.

If you wanted to prove your point, Mr. Obama, go just a bit further west, near the Alabama/Florida border. Where there is still a ban on fishing…are you going to eat the fish there? Or the shrimp? The local delicacy is mullet…my family had many a fish fry with that delicious gift from the sea. But we can’t now because the mullet is a bottom-feeder…and all the oil that ISN’T floating on the surface is on the sea-floor.

Or keep heading further west still, Mr. Obama. To the Louisiana coast, where the marshes are STILL affected by the oil. To the oyster beds that were coated with dispersed oil.

So swim away, Mr. Obama. Far away. Far away from the areas that were really affected. Just as you are ideologically far away from the common folk to whom you promised such great things.

I pray for you: Psalm 109:8. Amen.

Al Gore, Bill Clinton and Barrack Obama all go to heaven and
are standing in front of God awaiting judgment.

God addresses Al first. ”Al, what do you believe in?”

Al replies: “Well, I believe that I won that election, but that it was your will that I did not serve. And I’ve come to understand that now.”

God thinks for a second and says: “Very good. Come and sit at my left.”

God then addresses Bill. “Bill, what do you believe in?”

Bill replies: “I believe in forgiveness. I’ve sinned, but I’ve never held a grudge against my fellow man, and I hope no grudges are held against me.”

God thinks for a second and says: “You are forgiven, my son. Come and sit at my right.”

Then God addresses Barrack. “Barrack, my son. What do you believe in?”

He replies: “I believe you’re in my chair.”

***************

Hard to believe how many of us thought at the time that Al and Bill and even “W”, were the ultimate extremes in arrogant, egocentric, evil, lying politicians, isn’t it?

Those ol’ boys are looking better every day.

Last night the two boys were playing with the birthday boy’s new toys. My elder niece was playing in her room. She has a marvelous imagination and can keep herself entertained for hours, creating her own worlds.

My youngest niece was very wound up…crawling into and out of my lap, running around throwing her stuffed animals, getting back into my lap, getting down again, crawling into BR’s lap to shyly investigate his beard, crawling back to my lap, getting her blanket and resting against my shoulder.

It hit me one of the times she lay curled in my lap, fighting sleep but needing rest…BR and I could have had a child just about that age. That son or daughter would have only been a few months younger than the child relaxing against me.

I felt…bereft.

How can this be, you say? Isn’t Obamacare supposed to be affordable for everyone? Of course it is…if you choose to become one of the multitudes who will be among the thousands in line for your ‘affordable’ healthcare. Where the doctor is only allotted a limited amount of time for each patient. Which means ‘cattle calls’ for healthcare.

Our physician has told us he has pondered long and hard about his future practice. He is a very thorough doctor, and both my husband and I are very happy with him because of his attentiveness to all our concerns. But the good doctor faced the problem of having his practice turned into a ‘drive-by’ medical service, with huge numbers of patients being rushed in and out of the office (as deemed by Obamacare).

So the doctor has turned to an alternative that is allowed under Obamacare. His practice will be associated with a company that offers ‘personalized healthcare’. For adults, there is a yearly cost of $1,500.00 and a full and complete physical (it’s quite exhaustive). We get same or next-day appointments when we call, and get 24-hour physician availability by phone. Appointments are scheduled so that you have plenty of time to ask the questions you want. The number of his patients will go from 3,000 to 600. After he reaches 600, that’s it…he takes no more ‘adult’ patients after that. He will see our children without the yearly fee…and hopefully our insurance will still be affiliated with him.

So…the choice is…do we stick with a doctor we trust but have to pay an extra several thousand dollars per year? Or do we leave it to chance and the cattle-round-up…and the costs go up next year, with health benefits becoming taxed and the Bush tax-cuts ending?

Because of Obama(un)care, how many people will take home even less…and start going without? How many families will go without adequate and affordable healthcare, without money to pay for housing and food and transportation… You think the economy has taken a downturn recently? Wait till next year…Obama’s audacity of ego can quite possibly lead this country down an ever-spiraling path of economic destruction, making us vulnerable in ways recent generations could never have imagined.

Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one.
Thomas Paine

Our basic rights are being eroded away, one intolerable ‘feel-good’ policy at a time. I hope (not Obama’s self-aggrandizing kind of ‘hope’), that this November’s election will be a sign-post of change (not Obama’s country-destroying ‘change’). Our country doesn’t deserve its president and Congress attempting to destroy it from within. We, the people, don’t deserve to be raped and pillaged of our basic rights.

If we do not hang together, we shall surely hang separately.
Thomas Paine

We, the people, need to now act to form a more perfect Union. Vote for real hope, vote for real change. Doc Utopia and his ilk are NOT the physicians we need.

Uttered by BR as he walks out the door to work, and he sees the dachshund curled on top of the Golden Retriever.

Actually, there’s not much lol in reality. He has to watch his physical activity for awhile (because his spleen is at increased risk of a rupture), which will affect his duty status. And he can’t kiss anyone, or share utensils or drinking containers or food, etc., for SIX MONTHS!!! IF he hadn’t been kissing (and other things!!!) he probably wouldn’t have gotten this disease. Maybe religious edicts seem restrictive…but for the most part they can keep you hale and hearty, both physically and mentally! Think about it, Goob!

Poor Goob…life keeps knocking him down. He needs to think about the path he’s choosing that keeps throwing up these warning signs…slow down and smell the roses…just don’t go kissing them.

Talk about feeling helpless…we can’t just drive there to be with him. Dammit.

*There’s a tremendous storm coming. I’m sitting by a window on the second floor of the library, and have been watching this huge, dark line of thundering clouds ponderously but surely coming this direction. The front edge of the clouds has a long, wavy white line marking it. Nasty, nasty looking against the black roiling mass behind it. I might want to reconsider sitting right by the window.

*What is it with the teachers’ union in Wisconsin wanting Viagra on their insurance plan? The district can hire 12 teachers for what it costs to cover that prescription. And aren’t most teachers women? So doesn’t that mean it’s probably mostly the spouses that want the Viagra? Maybe they could compromise by only covering it only for actual employees? But still…times are tough for everyone. My insurance premiums are up about 5 times what it was when I started, with less coverage. Sex is great…but money for food on the table and a roof over the head kind of takes precedence…

*Will 2012 get here fast enough? I would be happy to see Barry Sotero gone…but even happier just to have Nancy P lose her speaker-ship. I would pay good money to see that meltdown. Surely someone would tape that and put it on youtube?

*The windows next to me are creaking as the wind picks up. This is a really old building. It was old when I went to it as a child. There are also a lot of homeless people that come here when the weather gets bad. They mostly play games on the computers. In looking around, I also realize I’m probably the only female patron on the second floor (where all the computers are). Meh. There is one woman down in the parking lot…screaming. Screaming with her kids as they dodge raindrops while running for their car. Better than the man down there earlier who was screaming into his phone. He had on a red-checked kheffiyeh. But since he was screeching in ghetto-anglo, I don’t think I had to worry about a jihad.

*The storm is about to pass over…all bluster and no bite. Lots of hot air blowing around and rumbling noise, but everything will be okay shortly. Please dear God let that be synonymous with the Obama administration and its effect on our country.

*I guess I’ll go back to Facebook now and annoy my kids. Isn’t grand how technology can bring a family together!