For Ladies Only…
Seriously guys. This is one of ‘those’ posts. The kind that makes you go all skeevy. The kind that talks about female stuff that you really don’t want to hear about. So…you’ve had your fair warning. Go get a beer and hang with the guys for awhile. We’ll all feel better that way.
Please, men, last warning. Turn around now.
So, ladies, as I approach that milestone of menopause, but not quite there yet…just having reached the realm of perimenopause…I tell you this: I know why there are so few women serial killers. Because we know how difficult it is to clean up the blood. Because we face it every month. It’s probably a good thing in its own way. The raging hormones are enough to make you want to go on a rampage, but there, in the back of your mind, is the quelling factor of having to clean up the mess that would ensue. And since we have to deal with a smaller mess on a monthly basis…we know how bad the clean-up would be. So we tamp down our rage while all the while men think we are just out-of-control langoliers (think Stephen King).
All joking aside, I have never referred to my monthly menses as ‘The Curse’. Until now. Now, I get this awful experience. I go through a super-plus tampon in less than two hours. It makes it extremely difficult in my job. It’s not like a desk job where the work will sit there until you get back from the bathroom. No, now I have to prop my door open, call to the teacher across the hall, who has to prop her door open, and run to the bathroom while she tries to keep an eye on both classes.
When I was talking to the doctor about it, she asked if the problem affected my job. I told her that yes it did, as well as that of the teacher across the hall.
So…the doctor is running some bloodwork to make sure it isn’t a thyroid problem, and if that is all clear, then soon I will have a uterus ablation.
Sounds absolutely awful, doesn’t it?
The doctor will be using the NovaSure method. Anybody know anybody who has had this procedure done?
I’m actually excited…because there’s a very good chance that I will never. have. a. period. again. Oh, happy day! And the procedure isn’t as traumatic as a hysterectomy, and you don’t have to go on hormones to relieve the problem.
I was going to wait until summer to have it done, and do some more research in the meantime, but it’s starting to get heavier. And more frequent. ENOUGH I SAY!
Screw this happy period crap. I’m ready for the un-period.