I had to put up a new post…sorry for the long title on the previous one. The comments lining up on the sidebar with that long title were a bit unnerving.
Thank you all for your words, thoughts, and prayers. This is a very trying, emotionally draining time. We have to provide constant supervision on Buck if we can’t find a placement for him. Which means no dinners out for just the two of us. No catching a movie…no ‘doughnut dates’ at the local Krispy Kreme. Buck can’t be in extracurricular activities because he abuses that time away. We have become trapped by a child who has all the hormonal and confrontational energy of a 16-year old boy with the emotional reasoning and outlook of a five year old. Can you leave a five year old at home to go do things? And he has two more years of school left. We have received a jail sentence, and we haven’t committed the crime. When did taking care of a child and keeping him safe from those who wanted to harm him mean being convicted?
I can’t go into too many details here, because it involves privacy issues, and not only the privacy issues of our child. It’s bad enough what happened…but why does it have to be even worse before something can be done?
And yes, Buck has been in therapy. Off and on for years with various therapists. And every single damn one of them has said he, and his older brother at the time, are the most closed off kids they had ever seen. Buck is locked-up tight. So tight that no light of reason or self-worth can enter into his traumatized life.
What little we have put aside for retirement will probably have to go for a placement for Buck. For his sake, as well as ours.
I’m so tired of this. So tired of the emotional burden. So tired of the fear and anger and frustration and helplessness. So tired of the price everyone is paying EXCEPT for the people who really caused this.
So tired of the pain.