Mrs. Who goes to the doctor
And no, not Doctor Who…although I would love to meet him!
So I’m at the doctor. First thing the nurse wants me to do is get on the scale.
Me: Not today, thank you.
Nurse: *blink, blink* Okay, then, just take off everything from the waist up and put on the gown.
Me: Not today, thank you. The doctor can just put the stethoscope under my t-shirt.
Nurse: *blink, blink*
Then the doctor comes in.
Me: Oh, doc, I saw you in the obituaries the other day.
Doc: *blink, blink* I didn’t realize I had died. I guess I’ll go home.
Actually, he was in the obituaries last week. My seventh-grade teacher had passed away at age 89, and he was mentioned by the grateful family for the wonderful care he had given her.
Heh. ‘Saw you in the obituaries’. Not too often you get to say that. I just hope the nurse doesn’t give me a shot the next time I go. I was just warming up for when I’m the cantankerous old lady patient. Old folks do it because they can.
April 18th, 2012 at 8:14 am
I went to the doctor yesterday, too, but did everything they said. Crap; missed my chance to be cantankerous!
April 19th, 2012 at 8:22 pm
Pam: One should NEVER miss a chance to be cantankerous!! Go for double on the next visit to make up for it.
April 20th, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Wait, wait…. you mean I can say NO????
I’m an idiot. All this time I thought I had to get weighed and stuff.
NO MORE!!!!
April 20th, 2012 at 7:13 pm
LC: I had the revelation while sitting in the parking lot before my appointment. I was in for a persistent cough, not a physical. I thought, why make myself feel more miserable? So…I just said ‘no’. And it felt gooooooood!
April 23rd, 2012 at 4:11 pm
ooooo – I’mma try that not today thing next time I go! If I ever go again. I’m on doctor strike. Or something like that.
April 29th, 2012 at 9:34 am
Heh! This is so funny! I’d like to read that doctor’s chart after his exam of you. He probably diagnosed you with a new mental disorder: “old person who thinks for herself and knows how to draw boundaries! Will likely become even more assertive in the future. Good candidate for Obamacare death panel.”
April 30th, 2012 at 11:03 am
I didn’t discover i could say no until about 5 years ago. Very liberating telling the Doc that you don’t need his finger stuck up your sphincter today just because it is on his checklist. But i don’t mind getting weighted since his scale is really off, in my favor.