Fog of Childhood

I can’t really remember much of my childhood. Some events here and there, but not much about holiday celebrations. I can’t remember Thanksgivings or Christmases that much. Can’t picture the table set for the dinner, can’t picture the tree.

My parents divorced when I was in sixth grade. I wonder if I just blocked out a lot of what happened prior to that as being to painful to think about. My parents never really fought…in fact, the only fighting I can remember is the night my dad moved out. I remember laying in the top bunk, crying as I heard them yelling at each other.

My husband has a prodigious memory. He can remember things from before he could even walk. The earliest event I remember is from when I was four.

It’s not like I suffered abuse or was beaten…my parents weren’t alcoholics are anything like that. I just can’t remember much.

I don’t know…maybe I’m just too lazy to try to remember. But…it bothers me for some reason. And I don’t know why.

12 Responses to “Fog of Childhood”

  1. Bitterroot Says:

    Ever think that maybe your lumpy head has something to do with it? It wasn’t intentional – your mama just walked you into a lot of door frames when you were an infant. Too bad… We probably would have had warp drive and transporter technology by now if those super-genius IQ points hadn’t been bashed out of your noggin. ;)

    As for my memory – I wish it worked to my advantage better. I can remember weird stuff – “flashbulb memories” of things that directly touched my immersed reality, never “useful” things like the answers to history or economics exams, or important work-related data. Mostly it’s things from my childhood or decades past, yet I have to sit and ponder what the hell I had for lunch yesterday or what someone asked me to do a few hours ago. I’m guessing I’m a prime candidate for Alzheimer’s. :(

    FWIW, I do have one memory that’s a treasure… You were wearing a madras plaid dress with a blue denim bodice as you stood in the parking lot at the Museum next to your van. Your hair was curly and blowing in the wind, and your glasses were HUGE (but you were cute in them). The buttons on the front of your dress emphasized your cleavage, and there was that sexy little “bug” scar above your right breast that I couldn’t resist sneaking a look at every time you looked away. You were irresistibly cute, and I was justifiably scared. You were looking at me with a smile that said “YES!” and I knew I was in trouble… That little “bug” had netted me! :mrgreen:

  2. wRitErsbLock Says:

    I have a very poor memory. I suspect that’s why I blog inane details of my life!

  3. pam Says:

    Aw, Bitterroot is a romantic! That’s very, very sweet!

    I’m the same way; the memories are few and far between. And for no good reason. I do remember the table set once, but it wasn’t for a holiday. The fried chicken, mashed potatoes and whatever else made me tuck that one away… LOL!

    Many holidays were spent camping, so when people talk about Thanksgiving tradition, I get the urge to make a fire out back to roast weenies. And cuddle up in a sleeping bag and try to count the stars… :D

  4. Quality Weenie Says:

    I, unfortunatly, remember way to many details of growing up. Holidays though were the bright spots as the parental units hardly fought on the holidays.

    Sometimes remembering things isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

  5. Bou Says:

    I’m like QW and your ever lovin’ husband. I remember everything. My earliest memory… I think I was two. My father’s earliest memory was around 15 months… but he thinks he may have one earlier than one. Seriously, this could be a left brain thing. And I’m not saying you’re not left brained, but you may just be more well balanced than those of us who have ended up in the fields of your man, QW, and I.

    Then again, it could be completely unrelated.

    I have two phrases said often due to my memory for odd things in my past… odd details about people.

    1) I can remember where I sat in Alg II my Junior year in high school when I learned synthetic division, but don’t ask me where I parked my mini-van.

    And.

    2) (Upon remembering something so detailed and long ago, that the people around me are in shocked utter silence) And… if I could parlay this memory into something that was money making… we would be rich.

    But there are weird holes in my memory of things more recent. That bothers me. A lot.

  6. Jess Says:

    I have a memory like a steel trap……I have a memory like a steel trap……did I tell you I have a memory like a steel trap?

  7. Peter Says:

    My stroke washed humongous big holes in my memory. Or, perhaps, it was an excuse to forget things. It’s frustrating. I come to one of the holes and I’m all, I KNOW that! But I don’t anymore.

  8. Cheeze Says:

    I don’t remember a lot, but I can remember being in a play pen. I remember liking the feel of the mesh sides against my face. I can remember the taste of the vinyl around the top edge, and I how chewing on it made my gums feel better, so I must have been teething. So, that’s pretty far back. Not a lot, but a few wierd details like that.

  9. LC Aggie Sith Says:

    I have a good memory, much to Hubby’s chagrin. He, on the other hand, hates forgetting something trivial. I tell him what I will tell you: don’t worry about the old memories; just make sure to make good new ones ;)

  10. Mrs. Who Says:

    BR: Who would have thought a scar from a mole removal would ever be sexy…but it’s one of your, ahh, quirks, that make me love you so much!

    WB: I know!!!! I blog just so I’ll have some sort of record.

    Pam: I hated camping…maybe that’s why those memories are blocked, lol!

    QW: I think that’s part of my problem…my parents weren’t suited at all, and I think we spent many Christmases away from home…no regular traditions to set a pattern for memories.

    Bou: LOL…I’m SO not left-brained, so that doesn’t bother me! My husband…yeah, his brain just amazes me sometimes.

    Jess: I *think* I remember something about that… ;)

    Peter: That must be very frustrating…but…you have shared so many wonderful ideas with us that you must have had an AMAZING brain before the stroke…

    Cheeze: Yep…you must be another left-brain to go back that far.

    LCAS: Good memories are always welcome!

  11. Bou Says:

    Yeah, Cheeze is looking at about 1 year, maybe less. That’s where my Dad is… he has a memory of just about that time frame and he is even more left brained that I am… and I’m pretty left brained.

  12. Da Goddess Says:

    I have a very vivid memory of childhood, including that which NEVER happened, but I wished had. I even remember the majority of the lies I told, the stupid things I did that were hurtful to others, the ridiculous things that were hurtful to myself, but mostly I remember too much simply because someone built compartments in my head that were just PERFECT for storage of memories be they wonderful or oure CRAP! I’m willing to share the wealth and give a few away.

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