It’s over

I’m done with this house. I don’t want to be, but now everything I look at pisses me off. The flowering trees have been chopped down…the things that brought me such joy each spring. I LOVE flowering trees.

The house still needs a lot work. It was a fixer-upper when we bought it, but one month after we bought it the shit hit the fan. We spent over $35,000.00 in court costs to save those boys…so there went the repairs. We went without to send all four kids to parochial school…never had a new car until the Mustang, and that was only with trading in the paid-off nearly new car we inherited from BR’s m-i-l AND trading in his beloved Harley. I haven’t really bought new clothes and shoes until I had absolutely no alternative (meaning shoes fell apart or clothes were too washed-out to wear outside the house).

I loved this house. I loved its potential. I loved the thought of retiring in it. Quiet neighborhood, space for a garden should I want one, lots of possibilities for landscaping, space to put a mother-in-law house should my mom need it…

But now…now it’s past the point of no return. The ugliness the house has witnessed has outbalanced the joys we had.

The camel has collapsed.

4 Responses to “It’s over”

  1. Rita Says:

    This leaves me sad. Such a dream that now is blacked out from all the bad memories.

    I’ll keep you in my prayers.

  2. pam Says:

    I understand. Sometimes we just have to move on – hopefully to a happier place, both physically and emotionally.

  3. diamond dave Says:

    Sorta how I felt about the house we ended up walking away from in Georgia a few years back – a nice lot and place to live that we hoped to keep a while, but house needed repairs we couldn’t afford (roof was literally falling in), and some bad family going ons put a dark cloud over the place that we felt we had little choice but to cut our losses and make out for sunnier venues.

  4. Bou Says:

    I would seriously consider selling and moving when Buck moves out. You and Bitterroot start fresh. You can find another home that you can love… and love each other in.

    Sometimes the baggage is too great. Just as some people are wistful to get rid of a childhood home or a home they raised their family in, the opposite can be true.

    You grew up military. You know how it is to start afresh. I’d be all over that…

Leave a Reply