Green Baby

(This event happened before we found out about the sex offender.)

When Buck was very young, younger than five, his favorite toy was ‘Green Baby’. His egg-donor had won the stuffed dinosaur (or was it a dragon? I can’t remember now) out of a claw machine (yes, she does have a gambling problem). But Buck loved Green Baby. Took it everywhere with him, slept with it, typical little kid stuff.

Well, being that it was won out of machine, Green Baby was not well-made. While the boys were down from Utah for a visit, one of Green Baby’s seams split. I sewed it up for him. He went around telling everyone I had fixed it for him. He told his egg-donor and her twisted mother on the phone about my fixing up Green Baby. Apparently after they returned to Utah, he again told his Utah relatives about my fixing the stuffed toy. They went on their own vacation then (because those twisted people had to always show that they were the more ‘fun’ family to be with). And one morning in a motel room along the way, little Buck woke up and couldn’t find Green Baby. Mom and Grandma told him that Green Baby had ‘run away’. They had probably got tired of hearing Buck tell how I had fixed it.

Anything we sent up there was destroyed. The golf club BR bought for Goob disappeared…Mom said she had to use it to beat up a burglar that had broken into the house, and the club got blood on it and had to be thrown away. Costumes that I made for the boys ‘disappeared’ a la Green Baby. Goob was dressed up by his mom as a ‘ho’. All the while that sick family kept doing fun activities, skiing, camping, snowmobiling, going on vacations, flying with Grandpa…”See, we’re the better family that loves you most because we do all these fun things with you.” Except Buck didn’t always get to go…Often he would be left at BR’s parents’ home, while the older Goob and their younger half-sibling got to go. And Buck had a speech delay that his bitch-mother did nothing to treat.

So even despite all the shit Buck has given us, I can’t completely give up. His mother has abandoned him in favor of a registered sex offender, he feels less intelligent than the other kids, he can’t express himself easily…even though he has done stuff that I *know* is morally and ethically wrong…I can’t let go just yet.

If I do…it’s like letting that cock-juggling thunder-c**t win. Yes, that’s a vulgar term…and one that’s almost too good for her. She’s a pathetic excuse for a human being, and I wouldn’t piss on her if she was on fire.

But right now…Buck still has a chance. He still has a chance. So I must keep trying.

7 Responses to “Green Baby”

  1. diamond dave Says:

    You are blessed for trying and not giving up, even when it seems all in vain. It is downright painful to remember how they were before they got all messed up, when they still had some innocence left. You find yourself desperately wanting to go back and grab that innocence, to bottle it up and protect it so it is never spoiled. To put yourself in the way of all the bad things that happened, the things that created the teenage mess they are today. To show you really love them by doing anything to change the past, to make it better for them now, to prevent the hurt.

    I remember that path well.

  2. LC Aggie Sith Says:

    Many prayers go your way.

    cock-juggling thunder-c**t

    I love that flick :D

  3. patti Says:

    Hugs – He will always have a chance – and his REAL mother (you silly) and his father will always love him
    Even when he makes it very very difficult.

    more hugs…

  4. Da Goddess Says:

    Love goes a long way in repairing that which has been bent and broken.

    *hugs* even more necessary when things get rougher.

  5. Mrs. Who Says:

    DD: But I do give up, all the time. It’s so frustrating for all of us.

    LCAS: Thanks for the prayers…and one day I will watch the movie that came from!

    Patti: I don’t feel like his real mother. I feel terribly angry, and then pissed at myself all over again for wanting to be done.

    DG: Your hugs are always welcomed…but sometimes it feels love needs to be accompanied by a 2×4 to get any reaction…

  6. Erinyes Says:

    cock-juggling thunder-c**t

    I thought I had heard every four-letter witticism. Learn something new every day!

  7. Mrs. Who Says:

    Erinyes: It’s from a movie…but I heard it from a video on the 100 best insults from the movies. If I can find it, I’ll send it to you.

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