One of my students proudly showed off his new shoes today.
“See??” he said, turning around and pulling up the back of his pants legs. “They have springs! Now I can run and jump very fast!”
I acknowledged that would indeed help him at recess.
“And see what else?” He turned back to face me again and pulled up the front hem of his pants, showing me the velcro across the front. “I don’t have to tie anything! I have strap-ons!”
Oh my god, you folks, surely I get to skip Purgatory for not laughing my ass off at some of the things these kids say!!!