Reason number 2,365 I keep my mother blocked on Facebook

I’ve excerpted some emails from my mother.  All names have been changed.  ‘Cathy’ is a friend of my mother’s whom, to the best of my knowledge, I have never met.  My Mom’s emails are in green, mine are in white.

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Is everything alright that way?  Haven’t heard from anyone and I sent an email on Sunday.  My friend Cathy Jones is back in the hospital and she sounds so depressed.  I used to tell her that if anyone heard her voice on the phone they would never guess she was ill because it sounded strong but not today.  She has four or five chemo treatments left for her cervical cancer but other problems keep interfering which keeps her from having it and she has been in the hospital several times.
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Do you know a lot about the Gardasil(?) vaccine?  I know you were against Princess No having it when it first came out.  But if it truly protects the girls from cervical cancer I wish you would encourage her so she won’t have to go through what all my friend Cathy is enduring.  I think I told you she has cervical cancer and for the last year she has been through hell.  Kidney problems, bouts with MRSA, chemo, vomiting, etc. It’s something to consider.  Love, Mom

From a friend who follows Gardasil news closely:

Good news! the hpv vaccine isn’t popular. Perhaps because (1) it’s poison (2) it’s wicked $$$ (3) the side effects are horribly frightening (4) the drug doesn’t live up to the marketing hype. I hope parents are thoroughly researching this poison before subjecting their children to it.

They have to get it again every five years.  Princess No has researched it herself and is very concerned about the side effects.

(My mom never replied directly to this response.)
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My friend Cathy is in ICU because she’s having seizures continually and they don’t think she’ll make it through the night. If it can be God’s will I hope she doesn’t if she’s going to continue with one terrible setback after the other.

I’m sorry to hear this.  Will you be going up there?
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Got hooked up with Cathy’s daughter on facebook.  Got a question. I sent her a friend request which she accepted but when I wrote “thank you” in the comment box her name and Cathy Smith popped up. I wasn’t sure what to do so I highlighted Cathy  Jones and that showed in the comment box.  Do I just ignore those and it gets to the right person? Thank you.  Mom
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Heard from Cathy’s daughter already this morning and her Mom made it through the night.  The doctor doesn’t know why she had the seizures and is ordering an EEG.  Lisa and her sister Ellen stayed in the waiting room all night so I know they’re exhausted.  Got to get ready to go to Mass.  Have a good Sunday.  Love, Mom
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We went to Barbara’s (Mom’s s-i-l) for dinner with her, Esther, Stephanie, Mark, and Sabrina.  However, if Barbara asks you about facebook don’t tell her you unfriended me.  She gets so uptight when I mention something I read on facebook and asked me  if I check on you and your sister.  I just replied your sister isn’t on facebook  and people shouldn’t put anything on there they don’t want others to know. She’s on it but rarely fools with it.  The first thing I checked when we got back home about 9:00 was to see if Cathy’s daughter had posted anything which she hadn’t so am hoping that means things  are the same or better.  Hope we all have a great new week.  Love, Mom

Why don’t you want Barbara to know????

BECAUSE SHE THINKS THAT I GO SEARCHING FOR ALL THIS INFORMATION ON PEOPLE AND IT WOULD DO HER HEART GOOD IF SHE KNEW THAT YOU XED ME OUT. EVERYTHING ON MY PAGE THAT IS WRITTEN BY HER GIRLS AND GRANDCHILDREN ARE ALSO ON HER PAGE BUT SHE DOESN’T BOTHER WITH IT.

WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME????? ;)

I ALWAYS DO MY RESPONSES IN CAPITALS SO IT WILL STAND OUT FOR SOME WHO DON’T SEE IT OTHERWISE. (my mom doesn’t get to just click at the very top of the email to reply, even though I’ve showed her several times.  Reading her responses in a series of back-and-forth emails is an almost endless ‘Where’s Waldo’ search.)
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The first thing I checked when we got back home about 9:00 was to see if Carolyn’s daughter had posted anything which she hadn’t so am hoping that means things are the same or better.  Hope we all have a great new week.  Love, Mom
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(This next email had a picture attached to it):

This is Carolyn in hospice.  I think she looks pretty good for all she has been through.  Her granddaughter took the picture.

Mom, I didn’t open it.  I don’t know the woman, and I know I wouldn’t want a stranger looking at my picture when I’m dying…

For pete sake, SB (Sassy Brat, her nickname for me) do you think I would send an awful picture? She’s propped up and smiling and I imagine the pretty quilt on the bed is hers.  I was happy she could do that.  She doesn’t know she’s that ill because her family hasn’t told her.

No, it’s not that it’s an ‘awful’ picture, it’s that she’s a stranger and she’s dying.  And it’s even worse if she doesn’t know she’s ill (How could she not know she’s ill if she’s in Hospice?)!  FFS, would you want me sending a picture of you in Hospice dying to people you don’t know?

I don’t know what they’ve told her.  She forgets most of it anyway.  Frankly, I wouldn’t care if you sent my picture around as long as I wasn’t naked!

Mom, please remember that BR and I spent two weeks non-stop at Mama Bear’s bedside as she lay dying.  I’ve seen it up close and personal.

I’ve seen dying and the actual moment of death.  I don’t want to see it in someone else I don’t even know.  I don’t want to be reminded of those awful last, agonizing days and days and heart-rending hours of dying.  Of waiting for the funeral home to come and take away the lifeless shell, a pitifully small bundle that the director carried out in his arms because she was so wasted away that he didn’t need the stretcher.  Cancer is a fucking cruel bitch of a death, and I don’t want to be a part of someone’s whom I don’t even know!!

I don’t want those memories refreshed in my mind when I want to remember the laughing and beautiful living woman my m-i-l was.

I hope to God you don’t go like that, Mom.  And I won’t be sending out pictures of you in that situation unless you are alert and cognizant and ask me to.

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So, I haven’t heard back yet from her…I just get terribly frustrated dealing with her sometimes. *sigh*

4 Responses to “Reason number 2,365 I keep my mother blocked on Facebook”

  1. wRitErsbLock Says:

    is it wrong that I chuckled a bit at this exchange?
    and also… I think I’ve seen that blue section somewhere before ;)

    Cancer is a fucking whore.

  2. Mrs. Who Says:

    Cancer IS a fucking whore…

    (and I *knew* you’d recognize the blue section, lol! And thank you!)

  3. Da Goddess Says:

    Cancer sucks big donkey balls.

    Also, some family members should never be friended on social media (I’ve blocked my lil sis because she ran to mommy to tell her I was inappropriate on FB and would shame her and the whole family and potential employers would think badly of me if they ever read what I wrote. All of which was probably true to some extent, but is also why I have my profile/posts set to “only friends can see”. I couldn’t unfriend her, but I sure as hell could block her from seeing what I post or what my friends post [which is really what is sometimes inappropriate yet hilarious]. As well, since one of my mom’s oldest friends is on FB and reads what I write and takes no offense, I’m pretty sure most of the world really wouldn’t give a rat’s ass what’s on there.) We won’t even talk about my older sister and her reading my blog to keep track of me.

    Sigh.

    Gah, I love family and the internet!

    P.S. Just to reiterate: Cancer’s a nasty nasty bitch. And Gardasil is, in my opinion, not adequate protection for anyone against HPV. Other than that, I’m a huge proponent of immunizations. Just not that one.

  4. Mrs. Who Says:

    DG: Family can be such pains, hunh???

    And I agree with you about immunizations. Most are good. Gardasil isn’t worth the risks.

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